Friendships in Our Upper Twenties
Investing in and cherishing lasting friendships
Friendships in adulthood are hard. Life becomes inevitably busier. Kids fill our social calendars, leaving little room for anything else. Jobs and chores leave us drained, with no energy or desire to talk to more people than we have to. We have entered a season of life were keeping friendships alive takes a lot of work. But let me tell you, they are worth the effort.
As I’ve crept my way up the twenty-somethings ladder, I have come to view friendship in a different way. Friendships in my upper twenties mean something wholly different than they did even five years ago. The friendships I have now are built differently. I wonder if, perhaps, that is because of time and how long we have been friends. Or, perhaps because we are more mature and are looking for real people in real life who we can share our real selves with. These friendships are built on intentionality, honesty, and accountability. These friendships are the ones that will stretch as our bodies do and age with us over years to come. These friendships are the ones that keep us grounded and take us back to simpler times, while also trudging ahead through the muck of life.
These friendships are the ones worth investing in.
We should cherish the friendships that allow us to easily pick up right where we left off, even after months have passed. The ones that endure silence and space are worth feeding our time and energy back into. We should cherish the friendships that have a box of tissues waiting for us upon arrival. Or, just as easily, have a bottle of Champaign ready to celebrate with us. The ones that can meet us right where we are, in whatever mess or magic our life is in, are the ones worth investing into.
We should cherish the friendships that tell us what we need to hear, not just what we want to hear. The ones that can be brutally honest, from a place of kindness and love, are the ones that deserve our attention. We should cherish the friendships that are present through the raw and unfiltered newborn stage. The ones that don’t hesitate at the size of the laundry pile and clean the dirty dishes, with selflessness and love, are worthy of our own selflessness and love. We should cherish the friendships that are strengthened at the dinner table long after the meal is cleared away. The ones that stay past our adulthood bedtimes to share laughter and stories are the ones that need held closely to our hearts.
Invest in your friends. Invest your time and your love and your real life. Cherish your friends. Cherish their time and their love and their real life.
These kinds of friendships take a lot of effort. I can easily justify not putting the work in, but I’ve found, over the years, that old saying to be true, “You get from things what you put into them”. If we’ve found our people, we should invest in them and cherish them because real and meaningful adult friendships are rare. I look at the friendships I have in my upper twenties, and I am both grateful and blessed. The rarity of adult friendships, especially after kids, makes me abundantly thankful for the women in my life that I have chosen but that have also chosen me back.
I know that time and age may warp our relationships. I know that some years will be easy, while other years will feel like a battle to keep us within each other’s lives. I know that circumstances may change, but I sincerely pray that I can look back in another ten years and still see these same women beside me. I look at these friendships that have endured silence and space, that have welcomed me in both the mess and the magic of my life, that have been honest with me, that have selflessly supported me, and have strengthened around the table – I look at them and I know that they are worth my time and love and real life.
Let’s continue the conversation:
Have you seen friendships change as you’ve gotten older?
How have your friendships strengthened over the years?
Do you find friendships harder or easier as you age?
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