Flamingo Mamas

Losing our color and getting it back again

Flamingos are a staple in the world for their color and elegant balancing posture. They are beautiful and graceful and rare. However, did you know that flamingo mamas lose their color after having babies?

Flamingo mothers tend to lose their color after becoming a parent due to the traumatic and intense process of laboring and loving their little one. The mama flamingos give so much of their energy and food - the very things that provide them with their pink color - to their little ones. This leaves them reverting back to their white, or grey, color.

How many of us mamas feel that same way? How many of us feel as if we’ve lost our color from the dramatic and intense process of laboring and loving our newborns? How many of us feel as if our once vibrant selves have turned grey?

The answer is: a lot of us.

Growing and birthing life is hard, especially the first time around. There can be an identity crisis that occurs where we don’t recognize ourselves, where we are so caught up in the recovery and newborn phase that there is little time for self-care.

Motherhood is an amazing blessing that I feel so incredibly grateful and thankful to experience. However, it’s very easy to lose ourselves in motherhood.

Our bodies break to welcome a baby and suddenly, we are not ourselves. We become mama to this new little baby that is fully and completely dependent on us. Every hour of our day is swallowed by sustaining and feeding them. For a long while, there is no room for anything else. No room for hobbies or intentional relationships. No room for sound sleep or proper hygiene. Seventy-five percent of the first four months of motherhood for me looks like my hair being held in place by dry shampoo, my clothes having milk stains on them, and my emotions at their highest insanity. But let me tell you right now mamas: this is normal!

Here me when I say: you are not alone. You may feel like you lost yourself in motherhood. You may feel like you have lost your color, lost your beauty and grace and rarity. But you are not alone. I am here with you. A lot of other mamas are here with you too. The hardships of motherhood don’t get enough facetime on social media, but they are there, and they are felt.

The good news is, just like those flamingo mamas, we will get our color back. We will find ourselves again, or a newer, more vibrant, version of ourselves. We will be strengthened and energized again. We will look at ourselves, within ourselves, and recognize who we are. See how far we have grown. We will once again feel beautiful and graceful and rare.

Let’s be honest about the hardships of motherhood. Let’s support each other while we lose our color, and then support each other while we find it again. Let’s do it together.

Let’s continue the conversation:

1. Did you see yourself (or a friend) lose their ‘color’ in motherhood?

2. How did you get back to yourself?

3. What makes you feel most beautiful, graceful, or rare in motherhood?