Pushing Kids Outside Their Comfort Zone
And not mourning them growing up
Our toddler recently moved from a “parents and me” tumbling class to a solo gymnastics class with a little group of her peers. We aren’t going in the class with her anymore which initially made me a nervous wreck. I wasn’t sure how she would do, if she’d listen well or follow the instructions.
We’d been prepping her for some time, encouraging her to be more independent in her class while we were there coaching her. When she moved into her solo class, there were TEARS. I walked her in and promptly left to show her that we’d be at the window watching the whole time. I don’t even want to describe to you the tears she had running down her face.
It left us initially wondering if we should have left her in there or if we should have pulled her out and comforted her, allowed her to watch from the window to warm up to the idea, or if we should have taken her home and tried again another day. But we stayed seated on the other side of the window because we ultimately felt like any type of intervention from us would have made it worse and wouldn’t have taught her the valuable lesson of sticking hard things out.
Friends, I am happy to report that after maybe ten minutes (that sounds so long!) she stopped crying and started having fun! Even when she was tearful, she was listening and doing everything they asked of her. When she could finally look at us without crying, she was so excited and would look to us with pride in her eyes at what she was capable of.
One of our fellow parent friends there had asked me if I was sad that we couldn’t go in with her anymore. And you know what? I wasn’t. I wasn’t sad at all.
I am sad that she’s growing up but, more than anything, I am proud and excited. She went into that class scared and nervous and that made me sad for her, but she overcame those feelings. She quickly learned what she was capable of with a couple deep breaths and little (tiny) push. It was deeply rewarding to see her grow even in a forty-five-minute class. She was challenged and she adapted, and she was proud of what she accomplished - how can I be sad about that? How can I mourn something that is helping her grow and be independent? I just can’t.
I feel similarly about birthdays. I’ve never felt sad about my daughter’s birthdays. Never shed tears over the passing of another year. I get so excited about what’s next. About what they will learn next, about what they will do next, about how they will grow next.
When my daughters are growing older but still thriving and joyful, still challenging themselves and learning what they are capable of, I cannot mourn anything.
Let’s keep encouraging our kids to step out of their comfort zones. Let’s keep showing them what they are capable of. Let’s keep cheering them on from the sidelines as they succeed.
Let’s continue the conversation:
Do you remember a time that you were pushed out of your comfort zone and grew from that?
If you’re a parent, do you find yourself mourning the time that passes or excited about what’s to come?
If you’re not a parent, how might you have reacted in this situation?