Hanging Out with Friends in Adulthood
Less recklessness. More joy.
Recently, we sent an invitation for our friends to come over and hangout for good food, laughter, to spend intentional time together, and to watch the kids play - as much as toddlers and babies play together.
In the midst of planning for them all of them to come over, I caught myself reminiscing on how we hung out prior to kids. My girl friends and I would do whatever we wanted until our bodies shut down on us and we crashed on the couch with the TV sounds as our white noise.
We were never (and still aren’t) alcohol drinkers so we didn’t experience those rough nights followed by rougher mornings. What we had instead was a youthful freedom from responsibilities since we didn’t have to care for anyone but yourselves, and that wasn’t entirely high on the list anyway. Our recklessness came in the form of consuming far too much junk food way too late at night and obsessing over boys we had crushes on.
Whatever else our recklessness may have looked like, it’s drastically different now. With all of us having one or more kids, our recklessness now looks like not wearing sunscreen, sleeping in our makeup, and staying up past eleven o’clock at night. It’s different but let me tell you this: it’s far more joyful.
We may not have the time or freedom to do whatever we please when we hangout now, but we certainly have a lot more to be grateful for and a lot more to smile at. As the toddlers run and waddle in the yard, as the babies take sweaty naps in our arms, as we talk and they coo, playing with / around each other - as we mothers look out at them amidst our conversations, we feel the freedom not in our actions but in our joy.
In our youth, our freedom was unknowingly suppressed. We had joy but not the fullness in joy that comes from Godly marriages, motherhood, or mature friendships that span decades and cross into motherhood. In our adulthood, we have fullness in joy as we gather our families together, as we look out at our children playing or down at them napping, as we look around at each other and know that there is so much more to come.
Our hang outs look different now, but they are better. We are not missing anything. We have freedom in fullness of joy. Let’s look to that. Let’s bask in that joy and cultivate these friendships for more years to come.
Let’s continue the conversation:
How have your hangouts with friends changed over the years of adulthood?
Do you feel yourself missing out on the recklessness of youth?
What does fullness in joy look like in your life right now?